Well look at what the cat dragged in

I emerge from my long absence to bring you this:

And now for something completely different

Brittany and I have decided to rate beauty on a scale ranging from

0: MELEK (fugly slut)

5: Wahiba (beauty score brought down by less than attractive footballer)

10: Adler Concubine (flawless human being); also I realize Adler does not play for Bayern, but when you look like THIS (DEAR SWEET GOD) why not be his concubine? 

Brittany and me, we’re concubines, WHAT ARE YOU?
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Ahem. I promise that once I am entirely caught up on sleep, I will do something constructive and not ridiculous, unless it is my job to be THAT contributor...

The witching hour is nigh or: Early Morning ramblings of an over-caffeinated under-rested student of the medical sciences

As I sit here burning the 2 a.m. oil (midnight has long passed), trying to cram even more neuroscience into my brain (I think I am starting to have visual hallucinations, either that or my hair really does look like spiders), I realize the end to this very traumatizing season is almost near! May is almost upon us, I am 3 exams away from finishing an equally traumatizing, but fun, year.

So I suppose one thing I can ask of Bayern is, can you do me a solid and get to #3 and give me hope that I CAN DO IT here?

I will give you a hint: no more of that possession football shit, it doesn't work and insanity is repeating the same activity expecting a different result. Stop it.

I would go further with this but I realized I am without my pink and yellow highlighters, both of which are very crucial and that I just spent the last two minutes contemplating the reality of underwear gnomes and sock elves. This is probably a good sign that I should stop.

Cliffs Notes version: Win or lose, Bayern, I will love you. But a Win would feel like a really nice hug or something. Mia San Uli, etc. etc.

"Please close your eyes and tell me where I'm touching you" or: your third blogger has lost it

Yes there is still a third blogger here! I just finished Medical Physiology last week, sang way too much "Forget You" in a band and in an a'cappella group, became a Belieber for all of five minutes, got asked for my autograph, mildly inebriated and am almost at my first Medical Neuroscience exam and so I have brains on the brain. Are you still following, because naturally this leads me to a mini-feature I like to call:

Inappropriate Stress Responses of the Week
+ Bayern shows LvG the door: Uli finally tells us how he really feels.
+ Kraft bumbles against whoever it was we played last Saturday: I think I made myself a bowl of pasta (irony level would have increased if it was macaroni and cheese)
+ Bastian Schweinsteiger and I become contralateral ankle ligament sprain twins, I laugh and say "what more could go wrong? haa haa ha" Edit: Apparently even more! Franck had to end practice early because of a tight hamstring
+ Watching practice videos during a dinner study break, all I could notice was Jonker's considerably fit physique and that I very briefly missed the awkward pauses on LvG's rotund belly.
+ Hole in the midfield? I know Nerlinger said "No" but I want Mark van Bommel to say "Yes" in the form of a slide tackle (though I won't mind if he at least wins the double in Italy)
+ Pranjic continues to be an option.

And now, something that has been going around school since the second years are studying for their board exams after the jump (and no, it is not oral herpes)